Fear and Love

The opposite of fear is love!  Whereas fear can do nothing but hold you back; love sets you free!!  The word fear has negative undertones attached to it.  Yet, when you think of love, there are only positive connotations.

Fear and love are the two most basic human emotions.  They can not coexist as they are polar opposites.  Where one is the other cannot be.  When one enters the room, the other exits.

Fear is denoted by lies, deception, violence, hate and anger.  While love embodies truth, innocence and personal freedom.  They can produce extremes.  Fear can create one to kill another, whereas love inspires one dying for another.

Fear is defined as a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat, whether real or imagined.  It is said that fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance and can affect our daily lives if we let it get out of control in our consciousness.  Fear, or more so anxiety, is related to a future event.

OK, so with this known, how do we calm those fears?  How many times have you done something that you may have had a fear about & yet afterward said to yourself, ‘Oh, that wasn’t so bad after all!’  You probably created more anxiety and angst beforehand than was necessary.

What has fear of failure stopped you from doing? 

We all have problems – that’s a given.  You may think the person next to you doesn’t, but they do just like you and me.  It’s the way they deal with their fear that’s the difference.  You may be frightened to try something new for fear of failure.  We worry about our family and friends.  Some of us have a hard time picking up after a breakup.  You’re not alone.  You may feel you are, but it’s only your mind telling you so.  You’re neither dysfunctional nor crazy.  You’re only human and there are steps you must go through – the grieving process.  It is said that time heals all wounds.  It may not seem like that’s possible, but it does!

We all make mistakes in life.  It’s what you take away from the lesson you learned, because of that mistake, that will help you grow.  If you allow your fear to take over, you may corner yourself into a box with no hopes, no dreams and no way out!!  You will be doing yourself one of the greatest disservices if you allow this to happen.  There is a solution of every problem.  It may not be evident or on your fingertips, but it is out there to be found.  You can’t have great achievements without many failures prior to that.

Sometimes you just have to go for it and put your fears aside.  What will you have lost besides some time?  Yet, you may have learned a lesson along the way that might allow you to be closer the next time you try.

Many will not get out of their comfort zone because of their fears and fear of failure.  But if you don’t you’re just stuck, like the hamster on the wheel in it’s cage.  You will be stymied and idle with no or little progress.

Try something new!  Try something different!  It might end up being one of the greatest experiences in your life, but you’ll never know unless you try.  I’m not saying that you have to go all gung ho.  You’ll most likely accomplish more by taking a lot of tiny steps and enjoy the journey.

Love & Fear

One of the best self-help books I’ve read is titled, ‘Choice Theory’ by William Glasser.  Life is a series of choices.  We can choose how we wish to deal with a situation.  We can choose how we wish to react to others.  We can choose whether we wish to be depressed or not.  We can choose if we wish to be happy or not.  We can choose if we wish to come from love or fear!

We can make an active choice to come from love and not fear.  Many of our choices come from past experiences that we’ve been taught or learned on our own.  But they shouldn’t all be set in stone.  Some of them need to be relearned.  I’m not suggesting that you throw everything out the window, but we evolve as does time and we need to adapt.  That is unless you want to live in that box we spoke about.

Love is the way to inner peace.  Love is light, fear is darkness.  When you turn the light on, there is no more darkness.

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